We can change the dynamics of political squabbling, by creating a climate of respectful and even affectionate listening. Every time a political issue is presented to us, we must look for another way, one not based on superiority, enforcement and coercion. That is, enmity and a skewed representation of human nature. Take this as an opportunity to transform the field on which the opposing parties meet, so that they no longer meet in opposition!

Given the assumptions on each side, the conflict is not possible to resolve, so we must change our assumptions. It doesn’t matter which side is right. It doesn’t even matter if we find a solution. Instead, our goal must be to look courageously, with humility and goodwill. That is transformative action.

Begin by listening with compassion to those with whom you disagree (especially if they are present in person). Above all, do not condemn others and do not humiliate them. What are the grievances of the sides you oppose? What is the suffering of the side you oppose? What is good or true about the side that you oppose?

1. Have faith that mutual understanding is possible. Proceed with respect, patience, affection.
2. Begin by describing the conventional political approach, including humiliation, bitterness and callousness
3. Ask yourself what is good in your opponent, and what is good in their goals. What is most important to them?
4. Ask yourself, what do you want others to know about what you care about? What do you want them to think about carefully and compassionately?
5. Ask for reflection, goodwill, and collaborative action.
6. Find a way that changes assumptions, that all sides can agree with, and that works at the heart level.